In a season surrounded with seemingly endless festive cheer, making space for grief at Christmas time might feel a little strange. There are expectations of family fun and a universal prerequisite for feelings of hope and of joy. However, at UK Memorials, we appreciate that those experiencing feelings of grief (whether over a recent loss or for somebody who died many years before), may be seeking comfort throughout this particular period. We first want to say that our hearts go out to anybody seeking space for their grief this Christmas. Our thoughts are with you and we hope that this short blog post can offer a few words of advice for this season.
Ways To Make Space For Your Grief At Christmas Time
Talk About It!
In British culture especially, we tend to shy away from conversations about death or grief, but we know how important it is to talk about those that we miss having around us. When crafting memorials for people, we find that individuals want the space to be able to express how they are feeling at a time of grief – so remember to continue having those difficult conversations; even at Christmas time. You could open with a memory, reflect on your feelings of missing somebody or intentionally ask others around you how they are feeling at this time to pave way for honest conversation.
Tangible Reminders
While there is no right or wrong way to express or experience grief, sometimes having a more tangible reminder can be a way of acknowledging your grief. Something might immediately jump out as to what that might be for you, but if not – here are a few ideas.
A chosen decoration or something engraved may provide a gentle reminder of somebody special. Below you can see pictured a snowglobe that one of our team keeps out all year round, but it takes a more prominant place at Christmas as a reminder of their Nana. Certain foods or songs can also be beautiful ways of introducing your memories to Christmas time without them being upsetting. For example, we know individuals who recreate a specific pudding their parents made at Christmas to honour their lives in a subtle but tangible way.
As memorial specialists, we have also crafted numerous bespoke memorials that allows individuals, families and communties to create a tribute that celebrates a loved one. Whether for a home memorial or a final resting place, many find a memorial to be a special way of celebrating the life of a loved one.
Making Space In Nature
Surround yourself with life by making space in nature. If you’ve followed along with us (or our sister company, The Sign Maker) for a while now, you’ll know that we love keeping an eye on the local wildlife. We know there to be numerous benefits from spending time out in nature; from lowering stress to creating a space to remain in the present moment, finding your way outside this Christmas might give you the breathing space necesary to grieve in a way that isn’t so overwhelming.
They say ‘Robins appear when loved one’s are near’, so maybe try and spot their vibrant redbreast on a wintery walk. Perhaps you find the same sense of hope in the appearance of a rainbow that we do. It might be that you’d enjoy a wander along the beach, or a moment in a local garden. There are infinate tiny snapshots of nature to find and explore, and our hope would be that making this space is somewhat restorative to you too.
Surround Yourself With Support and Community
Experiencing grief can be challenging enough without trying to do it all alone. Grief can have a way of making us feel isolated, so knowing where you can find support and communtiy could make all the difference. One charity that we always recommend is Cruse. Cruse are the UK’s leading Bereavement charity offering a helpful website, national helpline and even counselling sessions. Their helpline will be open across various hours throughout the festive period, so if you’re looking for support from trained volunteers who can come alongside you at this time – we’d recommend looking in to the support that they offer. The good grief trust also have some great resources that you might like to make use of.
As a result of the pandemic, online communites are also more prominent than ever before. It might be that you’re not looking specifically to talk about your grief, but are instead looking for a communtiy to share this time with. For the past few years, Sarah Millican has been hosting #JoinIn – a virtual campaign for strangers to connect internationally in online spaces. Last year in particular, the feedback was that this was a friendly outreach campaign, so it might be that something like this brings you a little comfort this year.
Click Here for Bereavement Support | Click Here to #JoinIn with Sarah Millican on Christmas Day
Allow Yourself To Feel All Your Feelings
Last, but not least, remember that it is okay to feel multiple things at once. It is possible to both feel and acknowledge grief while still experiencing moments of joy. The two need not be mutually exclusive – it is okay to let a little Christmas magic in no matter what other feelings you experience across this festive season. This might bring up some challenges of it’s own (for instance, feelings of guilt or a heightened sense of grief from time to time), however it serves as a good reminder that life is both beautiful and painful all at the same time.
We’d like to wish you a very Merry Christmas from our whole team here at UK Memorials, and we hope that these little reminders prove helpful no matter the time of year. If there is anything that we can do to support you from a memorial perspective, then please do get in touch and our team will get back to you in the new year.
Telephone: 01769 561355 | Email: sales@uk-memorials.net | https://linktr.ee/thesignmaker